


Defying the odds

by Dopt



Series: Confidence Index [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Blood, F/M, Giving Birth, Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-03-13 19:21:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18947260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dopt/pseuds/Dopt
Summary: “You may be more emotional than you usually are, it's okay,” Kay said dutifully. “That's part of the childbirth process. From what I understand, hysteria is a common symptom when women are in labor so don't mind me. I won't mind either even if I would appreciate if you don't insult me. I am not responsible in any way in your current predicament."Or the one where Jyn had to give birth at the worst time ever.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ohstardustgirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohstardustgirl/gifts).



> From [@ohstardustgirl](https://tmblr.co/m2K81fioeHriBxCChpFYlyQ)'s [prompt](http://ohstardustgirl.tumblr.com/post/154933542946) on tumblr: Jyn is in labour. K2 is her midwife.
> 
> EDIT: bonus points for cliche mid-battle/Cassian rushing to get there on time

Her waters broke at the worst possible time. Not that there really was any good time, but really, they were evacuating the base in emergency, the Empire having launched an attack on them just a few minutes before and of course, she was surrounded with chilly winds and ice.

So well, having her pants totally drenched and excruciating pain in her middle that prevent her from running was clearly the worst thing that could happen, or so she thought because suddenly she was lift off the ground and a very irritating voice rang in her ear, “The average duration of labor for a first born is over eight hours so you don't have to worry of giving birth on Hoth.”

Gritting her teeth both to avoid a whimper and to bite back a retort, Jyn tried to focus on her breathing and used the few feet K2 offer to look around her.

“Where is Cassian?” she asked in a voice she would have like to be more assured and way less tired.

“He's supervising the destruction of the comms center in the ninth sector. He then should evacuate with the second wave and meet us in a few days...”

If she didn't feel like something was reaping her in half, she would have bolted down and run to the ninth sector but well, the contractions were pretty bad and Kay seemed to sense her need to flight because he gripped her tighter.

“You won't be useful there, Jyn Erso, so stop struggling and take a deep breath. It should help you endure the pain of contractions.”

“But Cassian-”

“-is informed of your situation. He sent me to help you and I sent him a message about your current predicament as soon as I saw your wet pants. Have you monitored your contractions?”

There was a petulance in his voice and maybe some hint of reproach but Jyn couldn't care less. She was in pain, she was afraid and alone in the middle of nowhere and the father of her nearly born child was nowhere near her. She really really wanted to scream. Maybe cry a little bit too.

“You may be more emotional than you usually are, it's okay,” Kay said dutifully. “That's part of the childbirth process. From what I understand, hysteria is a common symptom when women are in labor so don't mind me. I won't mind either even if I would appreciate if you don't insult me. I am not responsible in any way in your current predicament. And I am actually currently helping you since you can't run by yourself.”

“Thanks, Kay. You're a great friend.”

It came out way more sarcastically than she intended but hells, how was she supposed to respond? They were alone and even if Kay managed to find them a ship, what would happen next? How was she supposed to have her baby alone and-

“You should take deep breath and focus only on the lapse between contractions.”

Kay's voice wasn't as irritating as before and his white eyes were kind of warm as he put her down on the seat of a small shuttle.

“You still have a few hours before anything happen and I'm here to help you.”

“Because Cassian asked you to. Yeah, I get it.”

Kay looked at her strangely but he didn't reply and when he turned, she felt another kind of pain, more diffuse and chilly than the searing cut in her belly but still very unpleasant.

“Don't...” she couldn't push more words out. She was on the verge of tears and it had nothing to do with the pain. Maybe Kay was right and she was being more emotional because when his heavy hand found her shoulder, she nearly wept.

“I have to take us off quickly so grab something since there isn't any belt large enough for you.”

He wasn't trying to comfort her she realized a bit too late, he was just trying to fix the strap around her but her belly was in the way. A bubble of hysterical laugh rambled in her throat and she didn't have the energy to stop it. Luckily Kay was busy piloting so he didn't seem to notice. Or he didn't mind. Either way, Jyn was grateful even if the feeling was short-lived when another contraction began and hot pain flared in her back and all around her.

“Are you sure it'll take eight hours? Because I'm not sure I'll last this long,” she grunted through clenched teeth.

“On average, yes. And if you want to have some medical assistance, I'll suggest you take your time to deliver because we won't be able to reach Home One before at least three more hours. So keep your pants on and breathe.”

Jyn wanted to tell him she didn't exactly have any control on anything but since she did want some help, and maybe to have Cassian with her, well, she'd find a way. After all, she had already defied statistics quite a few times before and it seemed like a good start for her child to try just that too.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This second part is a bit more angsty but well, giving birth is hard. There should be more, because I have a full page written about how Jyn found she was pregnant but I don't know what to do with it. And also, I should write about what come latter, not before. Anyway, enjoy!

 

For someone at the verge on giving birth, Jyn realized she was so completely unprepared and uninformed of the basic of, well, everything about natality, it was scary.

Of course, just like she learned the rest of her biology, she knew overall what giving birth entailed, how it should work and what she had to do but as the hours passed, as she felt more and more liquid flowed out of her without any control, wetting her pants more and more until her socks felt damp, she arrived to the slightly frightening conclusion that she had absolutely no idea of what to expect for now on.

Between two contractions, she sometimes felt her baby kicking, inexorably followed by a wet rush of fluids between her legs and her hopelessness at the whole ordeal was more and more terrifying each time. She thought she was managing her stress pretty well considering her situation but Kay suddenly turned his head in her direction and glared at her. Maybe not glared, but his hard optical sensors rested fixed on her for a very long time and he didn't utter a word, like he was judging her and clearly wasn't happy.

She wanted to ask, but just as she opened her mouth a contraction took her breath away. How could something so insignificant be so painful? She knew pain, she was wounded enough to know the burn of a laser shot, the sharp searing cut of being stab, the icy fire of a broken bone but there, it was nothing like what she had ever felt.

The pain burned bright and sharp, cutting her in half from so deep inside her she wanted to throw up and she must have gag because suddenly Kay was offering her some kind of flimsy bag with the firm instruction to not make a mess in the cockpit. As if she had a choice. As if she wanted to feel like that. Nonetheless, Jyn grabbed the bag and held it firmly in her hand in case she needed it. Plus, when she focused on gripping the bag, it seemed to ease the pain in her belly.

“Your contractions are becoming bigger. Longer and more powerful. Do you want me to look at your cervix to measure the opening?”

Kay was talking slowly and he repeated his question even more slowly a second time because Jyn couldn't process it. Was he really suggesting...? She blinked and shook her head because no, she wasn't that desperate.

“I understand your reluctance, Jyn, and believe me, I'm not that much thrilled with the prospect of examining you, but your water broke two hundred and fifty three minutes ago, so it might be useful to know about your cervix' dilatation in order to calculate the time your child will come out.”

Jyn took a deep breath, as deep as she could in her condition at least, and tried to think. It was obvious he had a point and a very good one. Still, she had to hope.

“Thank you, Kay,” she said in her best if-I-prentend-hard-enough-it'll-be-alright voice. “But you told me the average time of a first delivery is about eight hours, right? So I should have time.”

If she were able, she would have left her seat and proceeded to occupy herself with any mindless task she could find on this little shuttle, but of course, she was quite literally bonded to her place. So instead, she chose to divert the conversation on something more pressing to her than the size of the opening in her most intimate parts and asked in what she expected wasn't a too panicked voice, “Do you have any idea when we could meet up with the fleet?”

She refused to ask specifically about Cassian because she knew she may cry but if they at least managed to reach Home I, maybe she could access some medical facility, or a real medical droid to help her. She had to stay strong and endure, at least for a few more hours but when Kay announced he wouldn't be able to find the rest of the fleet, Jyn felt her eyes water.

“There is a place we can go. My calculations say there is a good 87% of chance we can reach Isde Naha in time and the probability of finding a mid-wife is some of the pirates' hideout is definitely higher than in the middle of an hyperspace lane.”

“Obviously,” she deadpanned, “but it's not very likely and also way more dangerous and...”

“I'm here to protect you, and your child, for as long as either of you need me.”

She swallowed back a chocking sob because that was awfully sweet even if he had to add, “You're too important for Cassian, I can't let anything happen to you both.”

Jyn let out a wet laugh that quickly turn into a pitiful whimper as a searing pain cut her in half once more. She would have fall to her knees if moving was even possible. Her baby rolled over and another wave of fluids wet her already drenched pants. She managed to fight the nausea but she gagged a few times before she could finally took a breath deep enough to calm her frenzied heart. She didn't have a choice and Kay seemed to have been waiting for her to reach this conclusion.

“Okay, let try Isde Naha. Even if we don't find a mid-wife, it'll be easier to do this after we land.”

Kay nodded and pushed a few buttons to modify their course.

“Plus we'll get better odds of Cassian meeting up with us.”

It wasn't a real question but Jyn still felt disappointed when Kay didn't answer.

 


	3. Chapter 3

When they landed, Jyn was pretty sure she was going to throw up. Not that Kay's piloting was rough but her whole body felt weird and her stomach seemed to jump everywhere, and her stress seemed to have reached a new peak. Plus, there was no one near the landing pad who seemed to have any medical knowledge other than patching a wound and even if Kay did his best to find some help, all he managed to get was twin small blankets and a few supplies for a street bazar nearby.

It would be useful later, if they had to stay for more than a few hours. Even if she didn't really like the idea of being stuck in the middle of nowhere alone with a security droid, she was lucid enough about her predicament to understand that moving was out of the question. At least until she could walk by herself again. 

While Kay was away, she’d barely managed to extricate herself from her seat and made her way to the small hold at the end of the ship without falling over. Her legs were sore and the pain in her middle was excruciating, each contraction worse than the last one until she couldn't stand anymore. 

Kay found her lying on her side, looking probability pitiful and stupid but he didn't comment on it. He helped her to sit up and after a quick report about his last transmission via the secure channel he had with Cassian for emergency, he suggested again to examine her. He didn't say anything about getting an answer, of course.

“Thank you, Kay, but it's useless,” she told him in a resigned voice. “All you'll find out is that I'm about to give birth and you can't do anything about it. We don't have time anymore to find a new place or to look out for a midwife. This place is pretty desert so at least, we won't have to secure it more when the worst is going to happen.”

Curiously, now that she was here, her previous fears escaped her. Even the absence of Cassian felt irrelevant. It didn't matter now because it was too late. With Kay's hands under her shoulders, she found a somewhat stable position and began to open both her holster and her pants. She used one of the blankets to spread between her knees and avoid the cold contact of the metallic floor then sat on her heels and waited for the queasiness to subside. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes to focus on what was really happening to her body and how she could have her child without medical help.

Being sat seemed very weird thing to do when her whole body screamed for rest, but she remembered seeing women doing it that way. It was supposed to be easier because gravity was helping her. 

Kay was oddly silent during the whole ordeal, but he kept her up and when Jyn heard the whirling sound he made when thinking, she braced for the worst. 

“I feel responsible,” Kay managed to announce in that defeat tone he mostly used when he was very disappointed.

Jyn refrained the urge to scoff and only replied with minimal sarcasm, “I'm pretty sure you didn't do anything to put me in this situation, Kay.” On the contrary, even if she refused to admit it, he had been quite useful since the beginning of the debacle.

“Yes, that's exactly my point. I should have warned Cassian about his conceptive deficiency because I knew it had expired. I just didn't realize your relationship included sexual encounters.” 

“What? But how-” 

Her outraged rant was cut short by another contraction and the very disturbing sensation of wanting to, well, poop, but not really. She was breathing hard and it was really difficult to resist the temptation of lying down, but Kay's hand was inflexible.

“Before he met you,” he explained in his pedantic tone, “Cassian's never showed that kind of interest in someone. He had some friends, but he's never had a lover that I was aware of.”

“We share a room, Kay!” she admonished with grit teeth because it was easier to focus on this inane conversation than on what was happening between her legs. She wanted to throw up so bad she gagged, and Kay gave her a small paper bag from the emergency panel before continuing like nothing had happened.

“You also shared a room with Bodhi Rook for months, if I recall correctly. Are you telling me you were also in an intimate relationship with him?”

“What? No! Bodhi's like a brother! It would be...”

“Yet you tell him you love him, like you do with Cassian, you spend time alone with him, you seek him when you're distressed, and you also display more openly your affection with him. How could I have known you'll be sexually active with Cassian when you were not with Bodhi Rook?”

As much as it chagrined her, his reasoning was flawless. At least, from his point of view, because no sentient would have ever thought she could sleep with Bodhi without being monstrously creepy.

“You're right Kay,” she admitted finally, “the subtle differences between my love for Bodhi and my love for Cassian aren't easy to apprehend for a droid. I love them both deeply, so I understand your confusion. But you don't have to beat yourself up for my current predicament. I chose to have this baby knowing the odds weren't in my favour.”

Kay didn't answer and she would have been upset if she wasn't so confused by what she was feeling. Her belly moved on its own and suddenly Kay pushed her forward with this instruction of keeping her balance with her hands in front of her while he went to check the perimeter. As if she could do anything else! Then he rose and she was left alone again, but this time it was worse because something was moving down and she was pretty sure she needed to push and it was absolutely gross and disgusting and she gagged again and she wanted to cry because it hurt so much and what if there was someone trying to steal their ship while she was so useless and then she felt a punch from the inside and she couldn't think anymore. She took a deep breath and the weird sensation was here again, the baby was falling and maybe she was supposed to catch it but she couldn't free on her hands because if she did, she would fall over and a bubble of hysterical laugh formed in her throat and she barely managed to swallow it when a last contraction ripped her back.

Her hips rocked on their own and she wasn't sure what she did but suddenly, everything seemed clear and easy and she pushed slowly, and gravity helped her because her baby came out like it was the most natural thing in the world. There was a plop and there it was, glossy with fluids she didn't want to think about, and there some blood but not as much as she would have expected, and she kept looking down and had absolutely no idea what to do. The baby was barely moving, only crawling weirdly so she tried to reach the little body between her legs, but it glided away, following the cord still attached inside her.

She gagged again when she realised her mistake and began to panic because she was alone, she had absolutely nothing to cut the cord and her baby still hadn't made a sound and she had no idea what to do.

“Kay!!”

She sat down on her heels and wrapped sloppily the cover around the little slimy creature between her legs, but she didn't try again to lift it because if she did, it hurt like she was pulling a muscle.

“Kay!!” She called again then mumbled, “I need some...” she didn't know what she needed. A knife? Some pliers maybe? Did Kay have anything useful with him? She was pretty sure she had a vibroblade tucked inside her boot, but she didn’t know if she could cut the cord like that and the baby still didn't wail. Was it normal? Wasn't a baby supposed to cry at birth? Wasn't she supposed to hold it near her heart or something? She may have read about the need of skin to skin contact but how was she supposed to do that when there was a cord so short tying her child between her legs?

She pressed the buddle to her thigh, right where the arteria was pulsing with her heart, trying to maintain some kind of contact with her skin while she thought about how to extricate herself from her own child. This was a mess, both literally and figurative but now that the pain had considerably lessen, she could organize her thoughts and maybe form some kind of plan.

Obviously, there was a problem outside since Kay hadn't come back but since she didn't hear any shot, she wasn't in immediate danger. And if she wanted to move freely, she had to cut that damn cord. The baby was tickling against her thigh but if she could feel movement, then it probably meant everything was find. So, she twisted and wringed her torso to grab her boots and after a few very ungraceful turns, she managed to secure her blade. Just as she was ready to cut the cord, a voice stopped her.

“Jyn!” Her head whipped around so fast she could have broken her neck.

Looking like he just walked out of hell, Cassian stood on the gangplank with his hands up.

“You could bleed to death if you cut it wrong. You should know that, Jyn Erso.”

Kay sounded as patronizing as ever but Jyn was too stunned to react.

Coming up slowly, Cassian let his hands up like he was afraid she'd attacked him, and he only once looked down at the moving cover before snapping back to her face with wide eyes.

“Give me the knife,” he said gently but in a commanding tone he rarely used with her. “Kay, come here and clamp the umbilical cord with your fingers as close as you from the baby's belly.”

Jyn wanted to argue but suddenly, she felt exhausted and when Cassian asked her how long it was since the birth, she couldn't answer. She had no idea and she wanted to tell him as much but all came out was a whimper when he cut the damn cord and then she gagged again and gritted her teeth because it hurt like he was cutting her and she was tired of hurting and suddenly a heavy lump of cover was in her arms and she stopped breathing.

Her baby, finally, there, all glossy from that weird entrance and a bit purple on the side but still, it was her child and she felt so much relieved when she heard a tiny wailing gurgle, she couldn't suppress her laugher.

Cassian's lips brushed her temple and she realized how she was leaning on him when he sat down but she was too tired to move. Maybe now she could take a nap or something but as she closed her eyes, Kay said, “You still have to expulse the placenta if you don't want to have it fester and kill you slowly. It should weigh half of the child’s weight and since it's full of nutriments, you could eat it to restore your vitals.”

Jyn frowned but didn't react until Cassian move between her legs and told her to push.

“I don't want to eat that,” she groaned as she contracted her stomach once more to free herself of all the remnant of her pregnancy.

“I don't expect you to,” Cassian assured as he inspected the blob and Jyn tried to not think too much about it. He once saw half of her insides because of a very nasty cut and if he wasn't grossed out then, he had no reason to be now, when she just gave birth to his child.

“Do you think someone in town would be interested?”

He presented the bloody piece to Kay and the droid scanned it before putting it in a paper bag and holding it like it could explode in his hand.

“I suppose you want me to check out. So, I leave you two... three alone while I trade for... what exactly do you expect me to find?”

“We’re in the middle of pirate lair, Kay, you'll find whatever you want,” Jyn said with a fond smile. “But some credits would be nice, and probably bacta for Cassian. He seems to need it.”

“But if you can’t find anyone interested, burn it.”

Kay nodded and rose slowly, oddly careful of the bloody mess in his hand before leaving the ship without comment.

It was weird to be finally so calm with nothing to do and nothing hurting. Cassian smiled at her seeming just as lost as her but also happy, more than she’d ever seen him. Jyn wanted to ask how he found them but she was really tired and, she realized, still half naked.

“I carried this little rascal for months, so now it’s your turn,” she told him as she put the baby in his arms and he grinned, clearly eager to finally hold his child. Then she managed to get up on wobbly legs and drag herself to the fresher to clean up.

When she emerged, she found Cassian sitting in the corner of a crate, a toolbox by his side. He had emptied everything and put what looked like a jumper inside to make a cradle but he still had their child close to his heart. His eyes were closed but even if he was as tired as she was, she knew he was still keeping watch for both of them. She sat heavily next him and reached for his hand. His fingers wrapped naturally around hers in silence.

She had no idea what would come next, how they’d learn to be parents, how they’d manage to fight off the Empire but they’d find a way. They had to.

 

****

Later, Kay found them tangled together and of course, the first thing he had to say was, “I’m sure you’re aware that not only neither of you have a contraceptive implant but since Jyn gave birth just yesterday, it’s hardly advisable to have any form of penetrative intercourse for the next month.”

“Thank you, Kay,” Cassian managed to answer with a straight face, “we’ll keep that in mind. Now, could you please keep on eye on Nettle so we could catch more sleep?”

Kay sniffed.

“You don’t really mean to keep calling your child Nettle, right?”

“Probably not,” mumbled Jyn sleepily, “but since you were there first, it would be weird to use Kay One.”

Cassian chuckled against her shoulder and their child began wailing slightly. It was more like a meowling sound but as soon as Kay grabbed the wriggling body, all could be hurt was light snoring.

“Aww, you’re already friends!!”

“At least, your child has good taste. Contrary to both of you.” 

Then Kay left the cargo hold with the baby cradled in his too long arms and Jyn and Cassian went back to sleep. He wasn’t a bad midwife and he would be a great nanny. Jyn was sure of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't want to choose if their child was a boy or a girl, so I left it opened. Also, Nettle is not the real name, more like a nickmane used during Jyn's pregnancy, and it fits for both boy and girl :)


End file.
